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Do You Really Want to Change? Do You?…

Posted on October 27, 2020 - 12:00 am by Beat Pure OCD

Believe it or not, it is not only possible, but quite common for someone to consciously convince themselves that they want change in their life, but subconsciously put all their effort into keeping everything exactly the same as it is right now.

They even go through all the motions of starting a new project, enlist help, buying software, having a website built, creating all kinds of marketing text and tools, only to consistently find some insurmountable challenge when it gets close to a start date that prevents them from following through.

Why would anyone do that?

Fear

Fear is the prime reason that most people don’t follow through.

Fear of what?

Fear of success
Fear of failure
Fear of what others might think, say, or do
Or all of the above

They are unhappy, unmotivated, and unfulfilled. They know exactly what they need to do, but never manage to get it done. They are often solitary individuals who have lots of friends and contacts, but, in reality, they live their life almost entirely in their own heads.

This vicious circle of starting and then stopping, over and over again, can cause them to have low confidence, low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, which reinforces their overwhelming desire to keep everything the same, no matter how good a new future might look.

Does this scenario describe you? If so, what can you do about it?

Is There a Solution?

One of the best ways to break this pattern is to help someone less fortunate than yourself. Perhaps try charitable work or something similar, where people depend on your help, energy, and support, and you know it.

In this charitable work, consider how you have a responsibility to others where you cannot possibly let down those who depend on you. That way, you are not working for your own personal rewards, but for someone who cannot possibly fulfill their ambitions on their own.

The feeling you get from helping others is so strong, so compelling, that your personal anxiety diminishes and your self-esteem rises in direct proportion to each other.

You’ll enjoy strong feelings of accomplishment and, in turn, fulfillment. You’ll find yourself in a place of happiness that you’ve never experienced before, and you really like it.

Make a Decision and Take Action

Through practical experience, you’ll come to realize that when you make a decision and take action, you move forward. You’ll recognize that you only have one life, and you can live it best and most fully by making decisions and taking action.

You’ll also acknowledge that doing things for someone else allows you to fully engage your talents in a way that you could never have experienced while just working for yourself.

When you find purpose in all that you do, you will also realize that the fear evaporated long ago, and now you can actually feel a sense of pride in your work that was never there before.

Through helping others, you’ll come to understand that it doesn’t even matter if you make a wrong decision or take a wrong action. You can always make another decision and take another action and correct it.

The most important thing is that you keep making decisions and taking action. It’s the only way to effect change in anything.

The biggest changes will be the ones you experience yourself, but it may still take others to point them out. You are so talented, and you have no idea how gifted you really are, until you see other peoples’ lives improved because of your actions.

That’s when you’ll get to see your true, authentic self show up in your smile as you look forward to finally being able to start creating the future you desire.

I Am the Hero of My Own Journey – Affirmations

Posted on October 22, 2020 - 10:37 am by Beat Pure OCD

Use these affirmations to become the hero of your journey.

I am the hero of my own journey.

I am grateful for the knowledge of the Hero’s Journey. I am truly blessed to have education around this model. Now that I am armed with this information, I can go on a conscious life quest.

I realize that I have been on my journey my whole life. Now I can look back and see the blessings of all lessons along the way.

I forgive myself for mistakes in the past. I realize they were only “missteps.”

Even though I have gotten stuck in the mire in those swamps of the past, I am proof now that I can survive anything. I am tough.

I have ventured into the dark night of the Soul and lived to see the light.

I have gone into scary caves and found the treasure trove of digging deep into my spirit and finding strength I didn’t know I had.

Having gone through tough times, I have come out triumphant.

Now that I am a Conscious Hero of my life, I can choose my path from a place of wisdom.

I check in with my heart first, as it is the compass of my Soul. I set my sight on my North Star and with the determination of a racehorse, I move swiftly toward my goal. I am immune to distractions.

Today, I gain wisdom and strength along my journey and share the boon with my fellow travelers.

Self-Reflection Questions:

What can I do today to be conscious of my hero’s quest?
How can I turn the travails of my life into treasures?
Who do I want as my trusted companions on my journey?

How Self-Reflection Can Make You Happier and More Successful

Posted on October 21, 2020 - 12:58 pm by Beat Pure OCD

Self-reflection seems to be a dying art. People either feel they don’t have the time or that it’s a waste of time. Others are afraid to take a good, long, hard look at themselves. This is a mistake, because there is so much to be gained by examining yourself and your past.

Self-reflection provides many advantages that can make life easier:

1. You learn about yourself. Most people are shockingly low in self-awareness. Some people are too busy, or at least they think they are. Others would prefer to distract themselves rather than spend one second in self-reflection.

However, there’s much to be learned by taking a few minutes each day and reviewing your day, the choices you made, the positives and the negatives.
When you know yourself, you can make better plans that utilize your strengths and avoid your weaknesses.
Recognizing your weaknesses and dealing with them is powerful. You can stop shooting yourself in the foot over and over.

2. You learn from your past. If you look at the biggest mistakes you’ve made over your life, you’ll find they’re surprisingly similar. You may have either spent money you couldn’t afford, got involved with someone you shouldn’t, or made poor decisions to get away from stressful situations.

If you’ve never taken the time to review these mistakes, you’ve repeated them.
Reviewing the past can also help you to identify what works, and then you can advantageously repeat those actions.

3. Take intelligent, thoughtful action. Many people are very action-oriented and avoid “wasting” time on thinking too much. Rather than just jumping in with both feet, it can be incredibly helpful to spend some time thinking and strategizing.

Reflect on what you actually want to accomplish for yourself. Ask yourself a few questions and use the answers wisely.

Graham Gibbs is an academic that studies self-reflection. He developed a six-step process to aid in self-reflection. This process can be used as a guide to help you get the swing of things.

Use Mr. Gibbs’ process to examine your past and present:

What happened? This is simple enough. Describe the event to yourself. “I dropped out of college.”
What was I thinking and feeling? What were you thinking at the time? What did you think afterwards? “I was stressed and failing. I felt a sense of relief when I first dropped out, but then I felt a sense of dread and felt lost.”
What was good or bad about the experience? “I gained free time and my stress was relieved. But, now I don’t have a plan for my future and my job prospects are much more limited.”
How does this affect the various parts of my life? What does it say about me? “My personal and career development is stifled. My significant other is upset with me and threatening to leave. My parents kicked me out of the house and told me to find a job. This suggests that I am impulsive and handle stress poorly.”
What else could I have done? “ Talked to a friend. Spoken to my professors. Sought professional help. Learned meditation or yoga. Lightened my course load.”
If this happened again, how would I handle it? “I would consider the long-term implications instead of just the short. I would get the help I need. I wouldn’t consider quitting to be a viable option.”

Self-reflection is a useful tool that’s free to learn and apply. Imagine being able to leverage your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, and avoid repeating your mistakes.

You can make good use of those painful events from your past. Spend a few minutes each day and apply a little self-reflection. You’ll be happy with the results.

Top 15 Ways of Being Kind to Yourself

Posted on October 16, 2020 - 12:43 pm by Beat Pure OCD

How do you react when you’re faced with circumstances beyond your control or you fall short of your own expectations?

You might be tempted to become harsh with yourself. You try to whip yourself into shape, thinking that will help you to overcome the obstacles in your way.

In reality, treating yourself with kindness and compassion is more likely to build your resilience and clarify your thinking.

Make a list of things you can do to show yourself a little love today, starting with these ideas.

Kind Habits That Protect Your Physical Wellbeing:

Stay active. Exercise lowers your risk for heart conditions, diabetes, stroke, and many other serious health issues. Design a program you can do at home to train for cardio fitness, strength, flexibility, and balance.
Eat whole foods. Fill up on vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Minimize your consumption of ultra-processed foods.
Drink water. In addition to its other health benefits, water helps keep your eyes, mouth, and nose moist so you may be less tempted to scratch your face. Quench your thirst with plain water or unsweetened tea.
Sleep well. Lack of sleep can make you more vulnerable to infection and illness. Aim for 7 to 8 hours of slumber each night.
Manage stress. Deal with tension constructively. Find relaxation practices that work for you. Talk with your doctor if you find yourself using alcohol or other substances to manage your moods.

Kind Habits That Protect Your Psychological Wellbeing:

Think positive. Look on the bright side. Savor small daily pleasures. Read inspirational texts and keep a smile on your face. Remember that hardships are temporary.
Set goals. Add more purpose to your life by working towards realistic and challenging goals. Use specific language and put them in writing.
Express gratitude. Cultivate a spirit of thankfulness. Let others know how much you appreciate them and what a difference they make in your life.
Give generously. Focusing on others makes your own troubles seem less grim. Share your time, money, and talents. Volunteer online for a worthy cause. Ask an elderly neighbor if they need groceries.
Seek support. Surround yourself with family and friends who lift you up. Share your feelings. Ask for help when you need it.
Repeat affirmations. Use positive statements to retrain your brain and let go of doubts that hold you back. Say your affirmations out loud several times a day. Post written copies on your bathroom mirror and other places around your home.
Connect with nature. Green spaces have a positive effect on our emotions. Go outside for a walk as long as you’re careful about social distancing. Open a window to let in natural light and fresh air.
Laugh out loud. Use humor to help you through difficult situations. Watch cat videos and email funny jokes to your friends. Play with your children or fake a chuckle until it turns into the real thing.
Meditate daily. Develop a regular meditation practice. Create a quiet space in your home where you can sit down each day. Start out with a few minutes at a time. You can extend your sessions gradually as your power of concentration grows.
Live mindfully. Remain intentional and aware in between your meditation sessions. Practice healthy posture and deep breathing. Slow down and give your full attention to one task at a time.

Your relationship with yourself serves as the foundation for a happy and meaningful life. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, the same way you would behave toward a dear friend.

Beat Imposter Syndrome

Posted on October 9, 2020 - 10:38 am by Beat Pure OCD

Do you feel like a fraud in danger of being exposed when someone praises your work? Do you think your achievements are just a matter of luck? If so, you may be experiencing Imposter syndrome.

That’s the term psychologists invented in the 1970s when they were studying successful women. Now, they know that men are just as likely to be affected.

In fact, an estimated 70% of adults experience the symptoms at least occasionally. You may be especially vulnerable when you’re trying something new or celebrating an important occasion like a job promotion.

Impostor syndrome may be caused by your personality or the way you grew up. Whatever the reasons, you can stop undermining yourself. Learn to experience doubts without letting them interfere with the happiness and success you deserve.

Changing Your Thinking:

Remember your achievements. Review your track record. Putting your victories in context will show you that they’re not flukes.
Give yourself credit. Change your self-talk. When you catch yourself becoming critical, congratulate yourself, instead. Reframing your thoughts will help you to view yourself in a more positive light.
Accept uncertainty. Impostor syndrome is often associated with perfectionism. Embrace yourself unconditionally, including your strengths and weaknesses. Set realistic goals and expectations.
Validate yourself. Live up to your own standards rather than relying on approval from others. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings so you can manage them effectively.
Appreciate effort. Do you regard struggling as a sign of weakness? In reality, success often requires careful planning and hard work.

Changing Your Behavior:

Talk it over. Impostor syndrome can be a difficult cycle to break because your first impulse is to cover it up. On the other hand, revealing your insecurities will help you to put them in perspective.
Build support. Ask family and friends for help. Having the courage to be vulnerable will boost your confidence and strengthen your relationships.
Fight stereotypes. Feeling like an outsider can contribute to impostor syndrome. For example, maybe you’re much older or younger than your coworkers. Look for ways to turn that diversity into an advantage instead of feeling awkward about being different.
Be spontaneous. You may be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself if you frequently over-prepare for various events. Throw a party with takeout pizza instead of spending an entire day in the kitchen.
Accept compliments. Can you receive praise graciously or do you secretly want to run and hide? Practice saying thank you sincerely. You’ll create a more pleasant experience for yourself and your admirers.
Find a mentor. Changing long-standing habits can be tough work. Working with a mentor will give you the benefit of ongoing feedback from someone you trust. You may also feel more accountable knowing that someone else is monitoring your progress, too.
Teach others. Recognizing your areas of expertise can be tricky when knowledge and skills build up slowly over time. Instructing others is an excellent way to learn more about yourself while providing a valuable service.
Stay relaxed. Challenging situations are likely to trigger any defense mechanism. You’ll find it easier to be authentic if you manage daily stress. Block out time for meditation and physical exercise. Slow down and take a deep breath if you find yourself starting to question your worth.
Take risks. Impostor syndrome can hold you back from trying new things. Make a list of projects that excite you and take pleasure in learning as you go along.

Build your confidence and sense of belonging. Overcoming imposter syndrome will help you to feel more comfortable with yourself and take more satisfaction in your achievements.

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