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Read This if You’re Afraid to Love

Posted on December 6, 2020 - 2:47 pm by Beat Pure OCD

A fear of love can express itself in many different ways.

You might sit at home on Saturday nights and refuse to let your friends set you up. On the other hand, you might participate on a dozen dating platforms and meet someone for coffee at least three times a week.

While these may sound like two opposite extremes, the outcomes are usually the same. Your defenses keep you from developing an intimate relationship.

Before you can change, it’s important to be aware of how you sabotage your romantic life. Find out what’s keeping you from falling in love.

Altering Your Thoughts:

Review your history. Think about your childhood and past relationships. Look for defense mechanisms that you formed in your early years and are ready to drop now. Spot patterns that you want to change.
Accept your feelings. A fear of love often involves trying to avoid strong emotions. Remember that running away from sadness also means missing out on joy.
Boost your confidence. Learning to live with strong emotions will make you more resilient. Each time you put yourself in situations that make you anxious, you see proof that you can deal with them successfully.
Watch your self-talk. Are you sending yourself messages that you’re unlovable? Use your inner voice to build yourself up. Speak to yourself with kindness and compassion.
Plan ahead. You’ll feel less anxious if you rehearse the scenarios that make you apprehensive. Practice what you’ll do if someone that you like fails to call you back. You’ll probably realize that the consequences are less serious than you imagine.
Appreciate solitude. Being single is different from being afraid to love. You can still enjoy your own company or search for a partner on your own timeline.
Consider counseling. Relationship issues can involve some of our deepest needs and fears. Talking with a professional could help you make a breakthrough if you feel stuck.

Adjusting Your Dating Habits:

Clarify your criteria. Overcoming a fear of love requires taking risks, but you can make your odds more favorable. Knowing what you want in a romantic relationship will help you to make rational decisions and choose compatible partners.
Open up. Close connections are based on communication. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Move conversations to a deeper level. Talk about your thoughts and feelings.
Build trust. Maybe you find it difficult to believe in others as well as yourself. Encourage trust by developing relationships based on honesty and mutual respect. Some imbalances are natural, but each half of a couple needs to be willing to give and take.
Take a deep breath. Does dating make you so nervous that you start perspiring and babbling? Learning to relax will make things more pleasant for you and your dates. Try meditating daily or listening to soothing music before you leave home.
Double date. Study a role model. Have dinner with a couple whose relationship you admire. Observe their interactions and adapt some of their methods to suit your own style.
Start small. Meeting someone’s family may still seem overwhelming, but you can practice your new relationship skills in situations where you feel more secure. Talk about your feelings with a close friend or write them down in a journal.
Support others. Fears about intimacy are widespread, so you’ll find plenty of opportunities to help yourself by helping others. Focus on trying to help your date feel more relaxed.

Looking for love can make you feel uncomfortable, and you may even get your heart broken. However, the alternative is missing out on the intimacy and companionship you want and deserve. Remember that you have enough wisdom and strength to develop a healthy romantic relationship.

5 Tips for Conquering Your Fear of Public Speaking

Posted on December 4, 2020 - 10:30 am by Beat Pure OCD

Many studies have found that a fear of public speaking is the number one fear of people in North America. Even the fear of death comes in second behind public speaking.

For some, this fear is something they just have to work through. Maybe they can give the occasional presentation, but it’s an incredibly tense and difficult experience. For many, the fear of public speaking is so great that it has a significant impact on their lives.

Some people will avoid taking certain classes in college to avoid public speaking. Many choose a career path that doesn’t involve getting up in front of a group.

If your fear of public speaking is so great that it results in avoidance and affects the choices you make in your life, it may be time to find a strategy to overcome it.

Implement these tips and begin conquering your fear of public speaking:

Start small. When it comes to public speaking, the bigger the crowd the bigger the fear. If you practice speaking in front of a small group of friends and family, it can help you build the confidence you need to speak in front of larger groups.
Preparation is key. Do you fear public speaking because you’re afraid you’ll forget what you want to say and look foolish? Ensure that doesn’t happen by being prepared

Before your speech or presentation, organize all of the information you want to cover. This may include creating a PowerPoint presentation or other visual aids in addition to your prepared speech.
Spend some time practicing. By rehearsing, you can ensure you include everything you want to talk about, avoid forgetting any important points, and become more comfortable.

Avoid memorizing your speech. Although it’s important to be prepared and rehearse your speech, it isn’t necessary to memorize your speech word for word. If you refrain from trying to memorize a script there’s a lower amount of pressure and less possibly of error.

If you know your subject inside and out, you can speak intelligently about it without memorizing a script verbatim.

Visualize yourself being successful when you give your presentation. The human brain is unable to tell the difference between reality and that which is vividly imagined. Spend some time visualizing a successful presentation and it will help you build confidence.
Practice some breathing exercises before you give your presentation. Breathing exercises are an effective way to cope with fear.

Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose and into your stomach Then, release it slowly through your mouth. Repeat this process until your heart rate decreases and you feel calm.

Many people try to deal with their fear of public speaking by avoiding it altogether, but that’s an impractical solution. There will probably come a time when you’ll have to get up in front of a group and speak. The only way to truly get past your fear of public speaking is to try it. Start practicing now. It will get easier each time you do it.

It’s Time to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt

Posted on November 29, 2020 - 3:56 pm by Beat Pure OCD

A 7-Step Process to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt

Fear and self-doubt are two things that every normal person faces. These are also two of the biggest obstacles to success and happiness.

Some people feel more fear and self-doubt than others. And, some are better at overcoming these emotions than others.

Regardless of where you fall on the fear/self-doubt spectrum, there are many things you can do to rise above these emotions.

Conquer your fear and self-doubt with this process:

1. Identify what you’re actually afraid of. What do you really fear? Most of us don’t have to worry about being eaten by tigers. Our lives are rarely in danger. The most common fears in a modern society are failure and making a fool out of one’s self. Of course, there are others.

If you want to start a business, but can’t seem to get started, what is your real concern?
Maybe you want to ask out a coworker on a date. What is the real fear? They certainly aren’t going to hit you over the head with a rock.
Be aware of your actual fear, and then you’ll have a chance of addressing it.

2. Find situations related to your fear that are only mildly uncomfortable. Perhaps you have a fear of public speaking. What could you do that’s similar, but less terrifying? You could:

Give a speech to a group of friends
Start conversations with strangers
Visualize yourself giving a speech
Do more group activities and speak up more
If you’re afraid of heights, you could start by looking down over a 2nd floor balcony and slowly work your way up to greater heights.

3. Take action. Thinking creates and magnifies fear. Taking action lessens fear. One of the best ways to get over fear is to immediately take action before you have a chance to talk yourself out of it.

Most people would be more successful, happier, and less afraid if they thought less and did more.

4. Visualize yourself being unafraid. Imagine you have a twin that’s similar to you, but different in other ways. If you could build the perfect twin, what would they be like? What skills, beliefs, and attitudes would they have? How would they handle the situation that creates fear in you?

Allow yourself to become that twin.

5. Give yourself small successes. Set yourself up to win. Make the game so easy that you can’t fail. As you gain confidence, up the stakes a little. Get used to being successful in the situations that cause you to feel fear.

If the thought of making 100 cold calls a day makes you break out in a cold sweat, give yourself the goal of making just one cold call. The next day, you can do three.
Show yourself that you can do it. Show yourself that nothing bad is going to happen to you.

6. Be realistic. What is the worst consequence you are likely to endure if the thing you fear comes true? It’s probably not anything you can’t handle!

What happens if the publisher rejects your book? What if your speech doesn’t go well? What’s actually going to happen to you? Will you still be safe? Will your family still love you?

7. Get help. Whether you need some help from a friend or a professional, there’s no shame in getting help. You would get help if your car’s engine blew up. You’d get help if you had a broken leg. Get the help you need to deal with your fears.

How much do you allow fear and self-doubt to rule your life? Imagine what your life would be like if you could overcome all of your fears and self-doubt.

Most people avoid the actions that trigger these uncomfortable feelings. You can do better. You can act in the face of these emotions and live your life to the fullest.

Tired of feeling frustrated? Want to live a life free of frustration?

Posted on November 26, 2020 - 11:48 am by Beat Pure OCD

Are there times when you’ve been working hard to make progress on something or just get it completed, yet despite your best efforts, it just isn’t going well, and you feel frustrated and disappointed about that?

It can be like you’re running through mud, using up all your energy, but you’re not getting very far at all!

Experiencing these kinds of disappointments can be really stressful, especially if you are up against a time constraint.

You can very easily become totally despondent, and then despair creeps in. The good news is, however, that you can get past this. You will get past it, as others have done before you.

The project that you’ve been working on likely isn’t the issue. Maybe you were in line for a promotion. You thought you would get it but didn’t. Maybe you are trying to explore the possibilities of a completely new career, but after all the effort expended, you still have no idea what kind of new career might be best for you.

This is just part of life, and pretty much everyone has been in this place before. Some of us have been there many times. When we get in these situations, it’s important to find different ways to move us over, under, around, or through them and not spend too much time dwelling on them.

To overcome your frustration and disappointment, you only need to spend enough time thinking about your circumstances to get a good handle on the situation. Then, take action and create a change in the way you are seeing it.

The fastest and most effective way of changing anything is to make a decision and take action.

Consider these actions that others have done to make a positive difference:

1. Reframe it. Reframe the situation and it takes on a whole new perspective. View the frustration that you are experiencing as a good thing because frustration means that you are just about to learn something.

2. Look for the lesson. Once you’ve found it, you will never need to go back there again.

Change your routine. Your daily routine has a bigger impact on the way you show up in life than you think. If you find yourself in a mind-set that is not supporting you, change your routine.

Go for a run, ride your bike, or go for a walk. Go somewhere different, go in the rain. Get close to nature. Do something exhilarating.
Your whole demeanour will change for the better in 60 minutes or less and so will the challenge that you are wrestling with.

3. Seek encouragement and Inspiration.

Who do you know who can inspire you? Encourage you? Share some life wisdom with you? We all have someone we respect, trust, and enjoy talking over difficult situations with.
Oftentimes, just explaining the situation can shine a light on a solution or a strategy that can resolve a difficult issue.

4. Adjust your attitude.

It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do about it that matters. Acknowledge that you are in a place of frustration and disappointment, but also acknowledge that you can and will get past it. Other people have, and so will you.
There is nothing that is going to be insurmountable. Start from the viewpoint that there is a solution here, and you will find it.

4. Be open to new ideas.

Getting good at anything is easiest done by learning from other people’s experiences. Always be open to new ideas, different ways of seeing things, additional strategies, and especially new attitudes.
More often than not, it’s not the situation or circumstance that is the root of the issue. It’s either the way we are approaching it or the way we are perceiving it.
If someone else has a methodology for resolving these issues, don’t reinvent the wheel, but follow in their footsteps.

5. Expect a positive outcome.

If you adopt a perspective of positive expectancy, whereby you know that it doesn’t matter what happens, and you’re absolutely certain that everything will work out perfectly, more often than not, it really does.
If you can get this one into your daily affirmations, everything will change for the better.

Don’t let frustration and disappointment rule over you. Use these tips to get past them and move forward toward the future you want!

Free Yourself From Fears With Healthy Alternatives

Posted on November 25, 2020 - 10:55 am by Beat Pure OCD

Having fears is a natural part of life. However, when you allow a fear to alter the way that you live your life or the relationships you have with others, the fear becomes an unhealthy burden.

Below are two examples of common fears and scenarios of healthy and unhealthy reactions.

Fear #1: The Straying Partner

You fear that your partner is cheating on you. Even though you have no proof, you’re convinced because you’ve gained a considerable amount of weight.

Facing your fear:

In this example, you can overcome your fear by understanding that the fear is really a byproduct of your personal insecurities, rather than your partner’s disloyalty.

Healthy reaction: Rather than accusing your partner of straying, ask them whether they’re unhappy with your weight gain. Communicate that you’re feeling self-conscious about your looks. Enroll in a weight loss program to boost your self-esteem.

This is a healthy reaction because you’re addressing the true issue, which is your newfound insecurity. Nothing in your partner’s behavior has changed; the only change in your relationship might be your self-esteem.

Unhealthy reaction: You start riffling through your partner’s belongings and spying on their cell phone call logs, emails, and Facebook interactions. You discreetly drive by their workplace at lunchtime. Even after finding nothing, you continue to invade their space because you’re sure they’ll eventually slip up.

Clearly, this reaction is unhealthy because you’re allowing your insecurities to take over your life. You feel badly about your body image, and you’re subconsciously sabotaging your relationship by wrongfully accusing your partner.
If you wrongfully accuse your partner of straying, they’ll likely become upset that you’re giving your insecurities the power to tarnish their character. This wrongful accusation may lead to distance in your relationship and potentially irreparable damage.

Fear #2: The Concerned Parent

You fear losing your children. You love your children so much and shudder at the thought of your life without them. Thoughts of tragedy cross your mind from time to time.

Facing your fear:

In this example, you can face your fears head on by realizing that it’s impossible to shield your children from the world. Rather than stopping them from enjoying life, you can do everything within your power to ensure safe enjoyment.

Healthy reaction. Ensure that your children know standard safety precautions, such as crossing the street with an adult and never talking to strangers. Have an extensive chat with other parents before allowing your children to spend the night at a friend’s home.

Every parent is concerned with his or her children’s safety. However, it’s important to understand that you can’t shield your children from the world. So, rather than tucking them away for yourself, allow them to experience life and do your best to ensure their safety.

Unhealthy reaction: You choose to protect your children by refusing to trust anyone with their safety. You ensure that the only friends your children keep are cousins, family friends, and neighbors that you know closely. You limit your children’s experiences of the outside world because you fear that something bad will happen to them.

Keeping your children from making friends can cause social and emotional damage. Limiting their experiences also limits their ability to experience the successes that can grow their self-esteem.

Everyday fears have the ability to affect how you live your life. By conquering your fears rationally and maturely, you increase your quality of life. Face your fears in productive ways that move you closer to the happiness you deserve.

Master Emotional Intelligence

Posted on December 7, 2020 - 9:33 am by Beat Pure OCD

Learn how to master your emotional intelligence and take the path to becoming unstoppable in every area of your life. Once you put these steps into play, you can truly become and have everything you’ve ever wanted.

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Chapter 1: What Having High Emotional Intelligence Can Do for You. There are numerous advantages you’ll enjoy from increasing your emotional intelligence.

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Chapter 3: How to Master Self Awareness. You’re not nearly as self-aware as you think.

Chapter 4: Self-Regulation. How much control do you have over your thoughts, emotions, and actions? Learn how you can develop more.

Chapter 5: Become a Master of Focus. Ability to focus is an important skill. If you can’t focus, you’ll struggle to get anything done.

Chapter 6: Motivation. Are you motivated intrinsically or extrinsically?

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Tap Into Your Imagination and Release Your Creative Genius

Posted on November 18, 2020 - 12:57 pm by Beat Pure OCD

You have a powerful imagination even if you don’t realize it. Your brain is able to generate some great ideas.

While your imagination is always available, it’s not always at its best. It’s important to use it and feed it to keep it sharp. With a little work, your imagination will serve you well.

Who couldn’t use a great idea or two?

Try these techniques to release your creative genius:

Spend more time alone. The most creative people also tend to be those who spend the most time alone. Your imagination can run free when you’re alone. People are distracting.
Set aside time to be creative. Creativity and your imagination go hand in hand. Set aside some time each day to be creative. Your imagination will benefit, too.

The more you grow your creativity, the more your imagination will grow, and vice-versa.

Set aside time to visualize. Practice visualizing each day. Visualize things you know. Visualize things that don’t exist. Really stretch your ability to see things in your mind. Here are two exercises to get you started:

Close your eyes and imagine a piece of fruit in your hand. Describe in detail what it looks like, how it feels in your hand, and how it smells. Now, take a bite and describe the taste.
Visualize yourself in a pleasant environment, perhaps the beach. Fully experience being in that place. What do you see, hear, smell, and feel? How real does it feel to you?

Allow yourself to daydream every day. Allow your creativity to run wild. Daydream for at least a few minutes each day. Just see where your imagination takes you.

Avoid the temptation to steer your daydream in a particular direction.

Create something from your imagination. Use your imagination to build something.

Suppose you wanted to build a birdhouse. Imagine every aspect of it in your mind. Decide on the dimensions without using a ruler. Plan out every aspect of it and then actually build it. Use only your memory and the necessary tools when it comes time to build. Evaluate how you did.

Explore various creative avenues. If you love to draw, draw. But you’ll become better at drawing if you try your hand at painting, sculpture, or music. Branch out a little bit and your ability to imagine new things will grow.
Withhold judgement. Judgment blocks creativity. If you fear being judged, your ability to imagine and create is greatly stifled. The surest way to worry about other people judging you is to be judgmental of others.

Also, avoid judging the ideas of your imagination. Allow them to take their final form before you critique them.

Travel. New places lead to new thoughts and creations. The number and quality of ideas you generate is limited if you spend all of your time in the same 50-mile radius. Expand your horizons and get out of town, or better yet, out of the country.
Spend time with new people. The same goes for spending time with a wide variety of people. Meeting new people will lead to new thoughts and ideas.

Provide your imagination with the fuel it needs to expand. Give it a workout each day. These two simple ideas are all you need to get a lot more from your imagination. New people, places, and creative experiences will give your imagination more to work with.

Using your imagination regularly will improve its performance and ability to communicate with you. Your imagination is a tool that’s too powerful to waste. Start using it today!

15 Tips for Beating Laziness

Posted on November 17, 2020 - 11:29 am by Beat Pure OCD

Beating laziness is a necessary part of getting things done. Laziness can have a variety of causes. In most cases, the task that needs to be completed isn’t enjoyable. Or you lack inspiration. Mowing the grass when it’s 90 degrees outside is a good example of both.

Dealing with laziness is an important self-management skill. Getting things done when you don’t feel like doing them is practically a superpower. You’re unstoppable.

Beat laziness and accomplish more each day:

Take frequent, short breaks. Tell yourself that you’ll work for 25 minutes and then take a quick break. Focus with all your might for those 25 minutes, and then relax for five.
Be tough with yourself. Getting started requires the most willpower. Once you’ve gotten started, it’s easy to keep going. Grind your way through the first few minutes and then use the momentum to your advantage.
Stand up straight. Slouching and laziness go together. Stand up tall and straight. You’ll feel better and more motivated.
Monitor your inner dialog. Say positive things about the task at hand. Negative talk will stall your progress.
Stop thinking about it. When you think about doing an undesirable task, you feel uncomfortable. That’s the reason you won’t do it. So, don’t think about it. Keep your mind on something else and get started.
Keep it short and intense. Change your physiology, and your thoughts will change, too.
Use a timer. See how long it takes you to complete the task. Make a game out of it. Another option is to set a timer for five minutes and see if you can perform the task for those five minutes without having even one negative thought. Timers are great for increasing focus.
Get rid of the distractions. Get away from the TV and lock your cell phone in your desk.
Keep your mind on a single task. Ironically, when you have a lot to do, it can be hard to do anything at all. Keep your mind on one task and forget about the rest. When this task is complete, the others will still be there.
Think about how great you’ll feel when you’re done. Thinking about how dreadful the task will be is the best way to ensure that you won’t do it anytime soon.
Be proud of getting your tasks completed. Most of us hate performing a task, and then feel neutral about getting it done. Get excited about completing these annoying tasks. Give yourself a pat on the back when they’re completed.
Start with something easy. When faced with several things you don’t want to do, start with the quickest and easiest. The sense of accomplishment will keep you going.
Make a to-do list. Cross the items off as they’re completed and enjoy the progress you’re making. There’s something satisfying about marking items off a list.
Consider the benefits of the task. Will you get to keep your job? Get a date? Have a freshly manicured lawn? Consider the benefits of the activity. Focus on these benefits and get started before your attention drifts.
Plan a reward at the end of the day. If you get everything completed, do something enjoyable. Meet a friend for dinner or rent a movie.

Laziness is a common dilemma. It occurs when the motivation to do a task is insufficient. There are several causes for this, but the cause isn’t important. Choose a few workable strategies to get you going and put them into action. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at your results.

This is how mental illness can be beaten. You must have displine in your life.

My Body Is Healthy, Whole, and Strong – Affirmations

Posted on November 10, 2020 - 11:42 am by Beat Pure OCD

Are you experiencing anxiety about your health during these stressful times? Use these affirmations and start feeling better today. Read these affirmations throughout the day to relieve your health anxiety. Make sure to save or even print this page.

I am grateful that my body is healthy, whole, and strong.

A healthy, whole, and strong body is a priority for me. I am grateful to have a healthy body. My life is better, fuller, and richer because health, diet, and fitness are my priorities. My body is getting healthier each day in every way.
I strive to increase my overall health. I accomplish this by focusing on a nourishing diet and avoiding unwholesome habits. I have a healthy lifestyle that supports both my physical and emotional well-being.
I get enough sleep each night to rejuvenate my mind and body and prepare them for the rigors of a new day.
I exercise on a regular basis to build strength and endurance. I follow my regular workout schedule religiously. I enjoy working out and my fitness routine pleases me. I am usually free of injury because my body heals quickly and easily.
My body is a gift that I care for to the best of my ability. I know that I only get one chance to take great care of my body, so I avoid damaging it.
I see my physician regularly and whenever else it becomes necessary. I follow whatever advice I am given. I like and trust my physician. We have an excellent relationship. My physician is knowledgeable and he provides excellent medical care.
Today, I am creating a body that is healthy in every way. I make healthy decisions that ensure my well-being and vitality. I am grateful that my body is healthy, whole, and strong. I feel truly blessed.

Self-Reflection Questions:

Which of my health concerns still need to be addressed?
What unhealthy habits can I change?
How would my health change for the better if I made it more of a priority?

7 Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Home Today

Posted on November 4, 2020 - 11:37 am by Beat Pure OCD

The baby’s crying while you hurriedly put the fast food on the table, the dog is throwing up on the floor, the hubby’s got the TV on full-blast, and your teenager just angrily slammed the door on his way out.

Unfortunately, it’s a typical scene for many of us. However, the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. There are, in fact, things you can do to ease this stress and create a more harmonious environment so that you and your family can look forward to coming home!

Although some degree of stress is inherent as you deal with the varying phases of your family members, if you strive to uphold a core set of values and go with the flow, you can maintain a happy and healthy home.

Here are some specific ways you can reduce the stress at home:

Get organized. Life can quickly become chaotic when you don’t maintain organization. An organized home runs smoothly, while an unorganized home leads to stress and lost time.

A good tip is to start small with your organization efforts. Start with one room or even a portion of a room. The idea is to think of it as a series of small projects instead of one overwhelmingly huge one.

Your family will certainly benefit from actively working on communication skills. When you fail to communicate effectively, you may not get what you want and can even cause upsetting misunderstandings. Working on communication will allow all family members to feel loved and appreciated and help the household run efficiently.
Eat dinner together. Everyone in your family likely has a busy life of their own. It’s easy to suddenly realize that you have no idea what’s going on with your spouse or child. When you make it a point to eat dinner together every night, you make time to connect with your family. You’ll learn how to work as one even with busy lifestyles.
Have fun together. It’s important to schedule time to have fun together as a family, even if these times can’t be as often as you’d like. Schedule family nights in advance and allow each family member a chance to pick that evening’s activity.
Show unconditional love. Be sure to practice the art of unconditional love with your family. This leads to secure attachments and will ultimately keep everyone in your family happy and stress-free.

Children and parents alike need to know that, when they make mistakes, they have a loving family that will back them up and forgive them.

Give support. Go out of your way for your family members. It might not be an ideal Friday night to go to your daughter’s art show, but just think of how they’ll feel when they see that they have your love and support. Actively express your support by really being there for your family – no matter what. Just thinking about how much you love them is not enough!
Family rules. Having a set of family rules will help with organization and allow everyone to know what’s expected of them.

Schedule a family meeting to establish the house rules. Make sure everyone has a chance to participate and share his or her concerns. You’ll likely find a compromise that allows everyone to be happy.

A happy and stress free home is one built on love. Don’t be too hard on yourself and others, and you’ll have the basis for creating an excellent home life.

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