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Category Archives: Love

Are Your Beliefs Keeping You From Succeeding?

Posted on December 13, 2020 - 10:15 am by
Are Your Beliefs and Keeping Your From Succeeding

 

Your beliefs color your perception of the world and your experiences. Many beliefs are true only because you believe them to be. If your beliefs aren’t congruent with excelling in life and receiving abundance, it’s very unlikely you’ll ever live the life you deserve. When your results are falling short of your desires, your beliefs are the logical place to make a change.

Many of the beliefs you hold most strongly are inaccurate. Most of our fundamental beliefs are formed at a young age. We often learn these beliefs from sources that aren’t operating at the expert level. It’s easy to see why we have beliefs that hold us back from experiencing all the abundance we deserve.

Choose a negative belief and begin the process of elimination:

  1. Challenge the belief. Suppose you held the belief that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Where did the belief originate? What was the source? Did you read it or experience it first-hand? Was it something you learned from a parent, teacher, or peer?
  • Is the source reliable? Has this source been wrong about other things in the past? Is this person an expert regarding the belief? You wouldn’t take long-term relationship advice from someone that’s been divorced 5 times.
  • Do you have proof that your belief is accurate?
  • Could the opposite be true?
  • What if your belief is wrong? What would change?
  1. How has this belief limited or harmed you in the past? List all the times this belief has steered you in the wrong direction or stopped you from taking action. Visualize your past and re-experience the pain and disappointment this belief has created. Realize that releasing this belief is a positive and necessary step.
  2. Create a new belief that serves you. It’s not enough to let go of a belief. It’s important to replace it with a new perspective. What is a more useful alternative to your current belief? For the previous example, you might choose the belief, “Anyone can attract wealth and abundance.”
  • Make a list of alternative beliefs and choose the one that feels the most empowering.
  1. Search for evidence that your new belief is possible. Do you know any wealthy people that started with little money? Seek out examples of successful people that came from humble beginnings.
  • Have there been instances in the past you’ve proven your new, desirable belief correct?
  • Make a list of all the times you’ve been successful in congruence with your new belief.
  1. Get excited. Visualize yourself living your new belief. How would your life change? How would that make you feel? What would you accomplish? Stick with this process until you feel a high level of excitement and enthusiasm.
  2. Reinforce the new belief. Repeat your new belief to yourself 100 times each day. This will only take a few minutes. Make time in the morning and evening to complete this task.
  • Beliefs are most easily formed through strong emotional reactions and repetition. The previous step provided the emotion. This step provides the repetition.
  1. Continue until your new belief is rock solid. It’s easy to slip back into old patterns of thinking. Continue the process of visualizing your new belief in action and performing the 100 repetitions until your new belief is unshakeable.

Your beliefs shape your results and your future. If you’re dissatisfied with your life, begin by addressing your limiting beliefs. New beliefs are easy to install. Consider how easy it was to install your previously held beliefs without intention. The key is to find evidence for the new belief, surround the new belief with enthusiasm, and remind yourself daily.

Read This if You’re Afraid to Love

Posted on December 6, 2020 - 2:47 pm by
Read This if You’re Afraid to Love

 

A fear of love can express itself in many different ways.

You might sit at home on Saturday nights and refuse to let your friends set you up. On the other hand, you might participate on a dozen dating platforms and meet someone for coffee at least three times a week.

While these may sound like two opposite extremes, the outcomes are usually the same. Your defenses keep you from developing an intimate relationship.

Before you can change, it’s important to be aware of how you sabotage your romantic life. Find out what’s keeping you from falling in love.

Altering Your Thoughts:

  1. Review your history. Think about your childhood and past relationships. Look for defense mechanisms that you formed in your early years and are ready to drop now. Spot patterns that you want to change.
  2. Accept your feelings. A fear of love often involves trying to avoid strong emotions. Remember that running away from sadness also means missing out on joy.
  3. Boost your confidence. Learning to live with strong emotions will make you more resilient. Each time you put yourself in situations that make you anxious, you see proof that you can deal with them successfully.
  4. Watch your self-talk. Are you sending yourself messages that you’re unlovable? Use your inner voice to build yourself up. Speak to yourself with kindness and compassion.
  5. Plan ahead. You’ll feel less anxious if you rehearse the scenarios that make you apprehensive. Practice what you’ll do if someone that you like fails to call you back. You’ll probably realize that the consequences are less serious than you imagine.
  6. Appreciate solitude. Being single is different from being afraid to love. You can still enjoy your own company or search for a partner on your own timeline.
  7. Consider counseling. Relationship issues can involve some of our deepest needs and fears. Talking with a professional could help you make a breakthrough if you feel stuck.

Adjusting Your Dating Habits:

  1. Clarify your criteria. Overcoming a fear of love requires taking risks, but you can make your odds more favorable. Knowing what you want in a romantic relationship will help you to make rational decisions and choose compatible partners.
  2. Open up. Close connections are based on communication. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Move conversations to a deeper level. Talk about your thoughts and feelings.
  3. Build trust. Maybe you find it difficult to believe in others as well as yourself. Encourage trust by developing relationships based on honesty and mutual respect. Some imbalances are natural, but each half of a couple needs to be willing to give and take.
  4. Take a deep breath. Does dating make you so nervous that you start perspiring and babbling? Learning to relax will make things more pleasant for you and your dates. Try meditating daily or listening to soothing music before you leave home.
  5. Double date. Study a role model. Have dinner with a couple whose relationship you admire. Observe their interactions and adapt some of their methods to suit your own style.
  6. Start small. Meeting someone’s family may still seem overwhelming, but you can practice your new relationship skills in situations where you feel more secure. Talk about your feelings with a close friend or write them down in a journal.
  7. Support others. Fears about intimacy are widespread, so you’ll find plenty of opportunities to help yourself by helping others. Focus on trying to help your date feel more relaxed.

Looking for love can make you feel uncomfortable, and you may even get your heart broken. However, the alternative is missing out on the intimacy and companionship you want and deserve. Remember that you have enough wisdom and strength to develop a healthy romantic relationship.